There was so much that happened in the last two weeks that I really couldn’t process it all while I was still there in Haiti so I tried to just give everyone a jist of what happened each day. The more I’ve thought about everything today on our plane rides and since we have been home there’s just a couple things I wanted to say until I say goodbye on the blog for a while. I really dont blog well so I probably wont write again until we have an adoption update which could be a while. There’s alot I learned in Haiti but the one thing that I keep coming back to is thankfulness. I have so many things to be thankful for some are first world luxuries, wonderful friends and family and spiritual growth and realizations during this trip. At first I was annoyed we had to spend two weeks in Haiti and at the end of it leave J there. I am still annoyed about it but I am very thankful for that time. One, we did get to know his little personality and learn even when we do finally get him home even if he doesn’t remember this time we bonded we know he can bond. It’s a really great feeling to know that he can bond he can attach and he did like us:) Two, I’m thankful for this trip to help me realize a little of what J will feel when he comes home. There were so many times on this trip I was out of my comfort zone. I didn’t look or talk like anyone there. The food tastes and smells different than ours. There’s so many things that will be new and different to J when he comes home so to be in his world for two weeks and feel somewhat how he will feel when he comes home it’s a good reminder and good learning experience.
Some of the first world luxuries I take for granted but today have been very thankful for are: Clean water, hot showers, garbage men, a comfy bed, electricity that the city doesn’t turn off every evening, yummy food, AC, and my list really could go on and on.
I am so thankful for so many wonderful relationships in my life. First and foremost my relationship with God. He was my rock through these weeks. My morning devotions and prayer time with him was what kept me going. And the close relationships God has given me that are such a blessing. Especially Emil. I can’t imagine doing this trip without him. All the things I saw in him on this trip reminded me what I love most about him. He was so fun with the kids they loved him and he was so selfless serving me and everyone around him the whole time. Also my parents. They gave up of their own time to care for my kids for two whole weeks. I know it had to be draining our life isn’t a slow pace sit at home life. But they handled it without one complaint and they are a picture of exactly of what being a servant of Christ looks like. And of course all my friends. I have the best village in the whole world. I really am a blessed girl. I couldn’t even name them all if I tried because so many people helped with donations, prayers, helping with my kids, having snacks ready for me when I got home, the list could also go on and on. I cannot even describe how thankful I am for my friends!
Some of the real lessons I have learned this week that have broken me and hopefully changed me into being a more godly woman, wife and mother are the spirtiual lessons I have learned and am still learning. I learned and am thankful that God is bigger than poverty. That he promises to provide for the needs of his children. What we think is a need and he what knows is a need may be different but I know we can hang on his promises. I am thankful that God is sovereign. when I cannot understand why J can’t come home with us now and how this process can be good or what’s best for him I know that I can trust God. That he is in control that nothing is out of his perfect plan and that he is J’s provider and protector, I am not! Even as I write this I am crying. I want J home with us so bad. I can’t even describe how I love this little guy I hardly know, but I do. So all your prayers are appreciated that God would make this next process quick and smooth and that we can go back and get J quick. But if quick and smooth isn’t God’s plan and it is slow and bumpy that I would trust trust trust and never waiver.
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy spirit.